How To Talk To Someone When You Have No-one To Talk To
Updated: Nov 2, 2018
One of the most common things I hear from clients is that, before they came to Therapy they had no-one to talk to. For months and sometimes years, we can hold on to our deep struggles, our worries, our fears, our stress, our irritations, our anger, our secret loves and more. Maybe we have no-one to trust, no healthy family or friends to confide in. Maybe we don't want to worry our nearest and dearest. Maybe we simply do not know 'how' to talk, to open up. I mean this. For some of us, talking about ourselves is almost impossible. It can feel like we 'just can't do it'.
I think nowadays, we are all aware that talking is supposed to help. We hear it all the time. Which is fantastic. We know that we 'should' talk, but for reasons stated above, we don't. Or can't. One other factor, which is important to note, is that going to Therapy can be expensive and a lot of us simply cannot afford it. (I will list some very affordable Counselling organisations at the end of this blog) So it is for these reasons that I want to let you know, there is another way of talking to someone, when you have no-one to talk to.
Journalling. Writing. Keeping a diary. Brain dumping. Brain storming on paper. Writing a letter and not sending it. Writing. This is how. In a later blog post I will write about the neuroscience behind Journalling and why it works, but for now I just want to begin that idea with introducing the concept of writing all your thoughts and feelings down on paper. And yes paper. Of course you can do it digitally, but it is proven that actually writing your journal is more effective.
So how does it work?
~ Write your thoughts down every single day. The routine will form a habit and help you come to rely on journaling.
~ Silence your inner critic and write any old thing to begin with. Just write. No matter how silly you feel, nobody will know you are doing it. Just write. You are aiming for stream of consciousness writing. Get every thought out, every idea, every worry etc. Keep writing.
~ You can write for as long or as short as you like. I recommend three A4 pages. Which might sound like a lot. But remember you have a lot to get out.
~ If you are worried about privacy I recommend keeping your journal on pages you can shred or burn straight after writing. That way you can really free yourself up to write anything! Get rid of it straight after.
Lastly, my final word is to try to write as if you are talking to someone. That can be someone you used to know, your own self, your old counsellor you no longer see. You can change this from time to time too. Sometimes writing letters to people and getting stuff off your chest. And again discarding the letters straight after. Of course sometimes, you might send a few!
Try it. If you have no-one to talk to, and are feeling bad, journal. Write. Try it every day. See for yourself how it makes your load seem a little bit more manageable.
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~ It's Good To Talk